Two years ago this August I moved to Los Angeles with not much more than my car, a few belongings and a bag of mixed feelings. i was moving 3,000 miles away from the only family and friends i’d ever known and i was doing it as someone who’s never truly had a lot of confidence or resilience.
my life has always been a series of, “when ______ happens i will be happy.” and moving to Los Angeles was another one of those. i was convinced my ‘out’ was in the california sunlight, that as soon as i got going there i’d be happy and perfect and my life would finally finally start.
truth is, two years later, that’s not the case. i struggle a lot, and there will be a lot of talk about that in this blog, most likely. however, that’s not the point of this post in particular. this post is about the above man and how he was a catalyst for my move and how he’ll never know it.
i have always been one of those people who get easily distracted and obsessed. the new star trek, j.j. abram’s star trek, was just another of those obsessions. the film was targeted to exactly people like me, people who had no interest in trek before who needed flashy cute boys to draw them in. in the end, i was drowning in the world, in the characters and the actors.
in the end, i moved to LA to work for JJ Abrams some day.
that’s the first time i’ve ever truly admitted that out loud because to be honest, i don’t think it’s ever going to happen. bad robot is elusive and difficult to get in with. i am one of hundreds, if not thousands, with the same aspiration. however, being in the same state, same city, same air as these people seemed like the only solution.
i wasn’t ready to park myself in great neck, new york, working at a little marketing company for the rest of my life, settled in to live life in movie theaters and daydreams. i couldn’t be that person.
i haven’t given up my dream to work for j.j. abrams, of course. i’ve got quite a few years ahead of me in the professional world. i will wait. it might not ever happen. it probably won’t. there’s still daydreams, though, and at least now i do it from my entertainment job elsewhere in LA and drinking coffee as the same cafe as chris pine and zachary quinto.